BEGIN AGAIN

I enjoy making lists

Sitting down with a cup of

My latest indiscretion in my hand,

And thinking

‘Wow, you’ve done it again’

I go back to the start.

To the beginning.

And try to map out

The order in which

This most recent city of dreams

Began to fall apart.

I rotely repeat this process

Each time.

Getting back to the bare bones

Of a catastrophe.

Examining it.

Carbon dating it to see

How far back it really goes.

How old is a scar?

So I make lists,

I number my failures

My ill conceived endeavours.

I try to give structure to something…

Chaotic,

With no crystal lattice to hold its form.

I try.

But we have to start somewhere.

And number one on a list

Is as viable a starting point as any.

And who knows,

Maybe next time

I’ll get beyond the first

Before I have to begin again.